Keep loving our loved ones – even if cancer changed them
We can expect thsat our family member with cancer to go through some physical changes and also emotional ones. We may be expecting some of these changes, such as the doctor may tell you that chemotherapy can cause hair loss and weight loss. But sometimes we may not be as prepared for some of the emotional changes we might see.
Our loved one may be very depressed or irritable and they may withdraw from you altogether. They no longer want to be held or caressed because touch is uncomfortable can make you feel like they have rejected your love. A favourite uncle turns from cheerfulness to complaining, it can seem as though you have lost the real person already. Don’t deny the feelings that come up for you. All of these reactions are normal, this person you love is going through a challenging time, and it is likely to have an impact on the way they look and behave.
“My father was a very nice person, he is gentle to everyone, but he became very irritable during his treatment, he was angry all the time, rebuked all the people who were trying to take care of him. I know he was suffering the side effects of drugs and cancer pain (Kidney caner stage IV). Because real him came back after receiving his painkiller.”
Notice how you feel, and admit when you find it hard. Ways for dealing with these feelings vary from person to person, but can include sharing them with a friend, writing a journal or meditation.
If you feel you want to share with other people who have exactly the same situation with you, here is a Yahoo cancer group: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/CANCER-FAMILY-CIRCLE/
You will find how great and helpful this group is. or you can write a journal or share your story in the forum of beatRCC.
Some of the physical changes your loved one undergoes may be temporary, as they could be reactions to medications or the physical strain that comes with undergoing treatment. Emotional changes can be more difficult to accept, since you may want to help your loved one, but may not know how, or your help may not be accepted. In some cases, the person who has cancer may just need some time to accept the situation.
A diagnosis of cancer is a real shock which can destroy a person’s body and their mind. It also causes all sorts of changes; some of them will be temporary and some may be permanent. Offer the support that you can and maintain patience as your loved one adjusts to the changes in their life. Remember that the person you’ve loved all along is still there.
I recently lost my mother ot renal...
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